andygates: (Default)
[personal profile] andygates
This is going to be a bit of a rant, following on from the building hand-wringing about getting all minced up on the roads.  Apologies for offence caused, but, fuckit.

The sides of lorries are FUCKING DEATH ZONES.  AVOID THEM.

That is all.

Really, that is all I have to offer with umpty years of riding in umpty styles and places: LORRIES WILL FUCKING KILL YOU DEAD IN THE MOST RIDICULOUSLY HORRIBLE WAY IMAGINABLE SO DON'T BE A FUCKING RETARD BY FEEDING YOURSELF INTO THEIR UNCARING MAW.

Does this need a "You wouldn't jump into a woodchipper?  You wouldn't dangle your legs in lava?" public service advert?  ARE PEOPLE REALLY SO FUCKING THICK?

Yes, I know they are, or in a hurry, and yes the road shouldn't be a mindless grinding machine lubricated with the blood of Our Tribe but by FUCK on a HOLY FUCKING FUCKDAY the stories I read are all - to my jaded eye - avoidable.  

I'd bet a fat pot that these are the same people who wear a fluo vest and a helmet on backwards and then jump red lights having ticked the boxes and thinking they're safe but with THE ROAD SENSE OF A BLOODY BADGER.

GAH!

STOP DYING LIKE IDIOTS! You're making me look bad.  

"But how," I hear them ask, "How do we learn this, that you so-smug on your ivory seatpost claim to be Great Wisdom?  Evil Government doesn't train us!  Waily waily!"

You can just fuck off, you spineless whining pussies. I learned the way you bloody should: I acted like a dick and got scared by a near miss.  The difference is I PAID FUCKING ATTENTION.  Get out of your bubble of false safety, get that stupid plastic hat off SO YOU FEEL AS VULNERABLE AS YOU ARE and get a few scares.  That'll teach you. 

And if scares aren't your type, get the fucking bus or grow a pair.  (Ovaries will do fine; it's the weirdly prepubescent indolence of the permanent manchild that irks me here: just take control of your own bastarding safety)  There are some adult training courses and they are good, but this isn't rocket science. 

Victim blaming?  You fucking bet I am.  I'm fed up biting my tongue.

Date: 2012-02-06 07:04 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Classy.

Full-on, but classy.

Did you consider writing "I PAID A FUCKING TENTION" in place of "I PAID FUCKING ATTENTION"?

I would "of".

Date: 2012-02-07 09:43 am (UTC)
calum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] calum
This probably needs a cycle safety guide, with pictures, entitled "FINGS WOT WILL KILL YOU ON A BIKE"

Date: 2012-02-11 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] andygates.livejournal.com
I really do need a half-dozen identical muppets and a selection of horrible ways to die.

Date: 2012-02-11 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sunny-brook.livejournal.com
Somewhere in London there's a lorry going around with numberplate-style signs on the back not dissimilar to this:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/onedollarsocks/1975212463/

I thought it was a pretty good message.

Date: 2012-02-12 07:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] andygates.livejournal.com
Not bad at all! I'd rig them to be flippable when crossing to the Continent, so the inside was always the squishside.

Govt would hate them though -- they point to kerb cycle lanes and ASL filters as dangerous places to be! Oh noes! The truth will out!

Date: 2012-02-12 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carldem.livejournal.com
fings wot will kill you is Idiots.
Don't be one, Don't be near one.

If you can't spot the idiot in 2 minutes...then you're the idiot to watch out for.

Thank you.
Resume.

PS Hows that global warming goin' for you folks :|

Date: 2012-02-12 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] andygates.livejournal.com
Well, now that you mention idiots, conflating seasonal variation with climate trend is right up there on the idiot roster.

Date: 2012-02-12 07:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] andygates.livejournal.com
Plus, you're basically wrong. Ordinary people in ordinary lines of work wield death machines that have well-understood kill zones. How this has come to pass is amusing, and beyond the scope of this rant. But it's not just a case of "spot the twat" - refining your search to *instances* instead of *classes* is high-risk.

Date: 2012-02-15 12:53 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Hah, You funny defensive man.

Might be "well understood kill zones" for the cage-raised people, in their battery cultures will everything marked out for them and all risk/threats are the responsibility of "someone else" in higher authority. But that is your culture, not standard practice. Your instance (or really, descendant class - forget the term, haven't worked IT for a few years..... these days working in a field which it's much harder to get staff; ones who are aware of their surroundings and can observe external threats...because in this line of work like many others in this country (and many others.) It's your arse, it's your responsibility to protect it.

Oh, and the climate thing - could be bad reporting in the local papers then.
"Coldest Winter on Record" throughout Europe... seasonal variance. nice one.

Date: 2012-02-15 08:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] andygates.livejournal.com
> It's your arse, it's your responsibility to protect it.

How very Libertarian. It's also your society, it's your responsibility to play nicely within it. This isn't Mad Max.

> Oh, and the climate thing - could be bad reporting in the local papers then.
> "Coldest Winter on Record" throughout Europe... seasonal variance. nice one.

Expect nothing *but* bad reporting in the press. Consider, for example, "global" versus "Europe".

One of the reasons the jargon shifted from "global warming" to "climate change" was that a warming *average* does not mean even smooth warming everywhere; perturbed weather patterns will move local stuff (mesoscale local, that is) around in interesting and non-linear ways; and the Press is mostly too dumb but more importantly too willfully trollish to handle this sort of subtlety of data.

All the global averages continue to trend on up, just as expected. Why would they not? Nobody's yet come up with even an interesting model for what the CO2's supposed to be doing instead of warming -- they just engage snarky hand-wavium and rely on pre-existing bias to reinforce their half-assed pseudoscience.

Date: 2012-06-06 04:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carldem.livejournal.com
hmm haven't been past for a while.
It's not my society, it's our society. Don't stick their responsibility to due care on me (without accompanying significant payment). Our society means I clean up my mess, I don't put dangerous stuff in your path, I watch my personal safety because it's my responsibility not yours. The successful consensus means others do likewise. By making others responsible for a third party's safety creates a situation where the third party gets used to a false sense of security and entitlement. It also tends to result in a culture of lowering person responsibility. In my society, in our society, that is probable a bad thing.

Re: science. It's not whether the models are accurate - they're not. Won't really ever be and certainly not in time. The effects we observe in the weather, whether it's CO2 or anything else result in destablisation. Not cooling, not warming. Those are what happens we we get out of the buffer solution, and by then things are really bad. By the time you can see the train it's bad, the time to get off the tracks is before the emergency occurs. What we see in a buffer solution is vague trends and, as you say, movements in the local stuff. eddies which flicker back and forwards somewhat chaotically.
Hopeful collapsing currencies will see an easing in rampant consumption, with corresponding drop in energy wastage.

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