andygates

It's amateur hour in the Global Wargh! On Terra. Young Nicky Riley, the failed Exeter bomber, pleaded guilty yesterday and today, the police reveal that he was groomed on the internet by two contacts in Pakistan, and he chose Exeter rather than his native Plymouth because he didn't want to blow up anyone he knew. (Wired has a piece on how suicide bombers don't like to travel; maybe it's a slacker thing). You can just picture the chat log:

Riley has entered channel #Splodey-Wannabe
Groomer 1: slm
Groomer 2: slm
Riley: slm guyz
Riley: k, i'm gonna go thru with it. what target?
Groomer 1: What is the biggest, busiest shopping centre near you?
Riley: drakes circus
Groomer 1: Excellent, that is where you shall be martyred.
Riley: but my mum works for card-u-like there! i don' wanna hurt my mum
Groomer 2: FFS! You must strike at the heart of the infidel!
Riley: but i aint going to blow up my mum
Riley: that aint right
Groomer 1: What about *other* centres? What else is nearby?
Riley: there's that new one in exeter i guess...
Groomer 2: Does your *mother* shop there?
Riley: oh no its too expensive for her, well, apart from primark but we got one of those here
Groomer 1: Very well. The Exeter shopping centre shall be your target.
Riley: k. i gotta go have tea.
Groomer 1: k.
Riley has left channel #Splodey-Wannabe
Groomer 2: Holy crap he's hard work.
Groomer 1: Think he'll go through with it?
Groomer 2: Who cares? *lulz*
Groomer 1: *lulz*