This is rumour control, here are the facts

How do you get information - important, relevant, timely and simple information - out to an office full of staff?

Look, email doesn't work, half of them don't read it, half can't, and the statistically-insignificant remainder are too busy posting on LJ or tracking their ebay auction for hideous tat.

Intranets are famously useless for this sort of thing: great reference library, killer knowledgebase, lousy noticeboard.

Tell the Helpdesk? Half of those monkeys forget and half of my users will come up to my office first, to see if they ought to bother calling. No use there, tried that.

There's only one solution: I need a bell and a tricorn hat. "Oyez! Oyez! Agresso will be running slow today! Don't panic! It's management's fault! Do some filing instead! Oyez! Oyez!"

This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb

I've got no work done today. I've been utterly cracked up about the nonsense going on at the station - some bikes were removed because they constituted a terrorist threat, you see, and put safely indoors. Other bikes weren't and of course people and cars and fat people with false Semtex bellies went about their business unmoslested.

It's laughable on so many levels that none of them really deserve discussion. And it's made me a die-hard fan of This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb before I've even heard one of their songs... I just need the stickers, now!