Signs of the End Times, #127

Grapes with an EULA.  No, really:  "The recipient of the produce contained in this package agrees not to propagate or reproduce any portion of the produce, including (but not limited to) seeds, stems, tissue and fruit."  What makes it particularly magnificent is that they're seedless grapes, unpropagatable and unreproducible, making the boilerplate EULA entirely vacuous and moronic (like that Apple one for Windows iTunes that said you can only install it on an Apple computer).

Maybe the Mark of the Beast is actually a licence agreement?

Does anyone, anywhere, ever, think that grapes with a freaking EULA are a good, valid, necessary thing?  I'd love to hear it.  I'd love to see the court transcripts, too, when the GIAA take Little Timmy to court for planting one in a yoghurt pot on his windowsill. 

To borrow from Bill (maythegodsblesshimandkeephimumdead) Hicks: "People who write EULAs:  Kill yourselves."

Signs of the End Times, #128

The internet is no longer mostly for porn.  Social networking - Facebook and LJ and MySpace and Twitter and whatever - has taken over from smut as the #1 time-hog.  That means (1) my gods, the song is wrong; and (2) the mainstream is doing more communicating and less consuming.  Mark my words, this is a sign of the Singularity.  Anyone got a brain jar?

Watch out for the pyrokinetic cyclist in London

Black cabs are bursting into flames.  Seven so far, prompting a recall of 500 model TX-4's and much worry and schadenfreude.

We know it's not really a manufacturing fault.  We know the real reason.

A London cyclist with latent pyrokinetic powers has finally been pushed too far. 

It's going to be like Carrie on fixies.