I didn't want to just agree and feel like a ditto-head, so I was trying to decide what to share to exemplify how much this resonated with me. Little bit of a brain war there as I tried to decide if I wanted to basically stand up and say that I was an alcoholic only to find that I was in the wrong meeting room? Like that.
Right. Anyhow, a lot of the reason (I feel) my journal is mundane now is because I've stopped sharing all the bits that make me who I really believe I am. I miss the ability to speak to people who understand why I feel like cutting myself at times without scorning me for figuring out a way to release the urge without actually bleeding.
These days, I often feel as if sharing because I thought I had that support was all an illusion. When I first started journaling, I believed that I could be 100% who I am and it wouldn't have any negative effect on me. I thought that those who cared about me and said they were my friends would ask if they didn't understand, and everyone else would just move away from me if they felt uncomfortable.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-07-22 08:57 pm (UTC)Right. Anyhow, a lot of the reason (I feel) my journal is mundane now is because I've stopped sharing all the bits that make me who I really believe I am. I miss the ability to speak to people who understand why I feel like cutting myself at times without scorning me for figuring out a way to release the urge without actually bleeding.
These days, I often feel as if sharing because I thought I had that support was all an illusion. When I first started journaling, I believed that I could be 100% who I am and it wouldn't have any negative effect on me. I thought that those who cared about me and said they were my friends would ask if they didn't understand, and everyone else would just move away from me if they felt uncomfortable.
Ah, the grand delusion I labored beneath...