2012

[andygates]

The world isn't going to end in 2012, but that doesn't mean we can't hawk a spectacular ball of nonsense on the premise that it will: Behold the teaser trailer for 2012.

So which of the 2012 gribblies has caused the oceans to overtop the Himalayas?  Obviously not a CME or solar flare.  Is it that boneheaded pole shift where the crust picks up its petticoats and shimmies around to the other side?  Sudden and massive ice sheet meltage (surely not fast enough)?  Planet X or Nibiru or Set giving us a mega-tide that only affects water and not, say, random old Buddhists?  And can we get the One World New World Ordermentinati in on the act with that conspiracy of silence?

Roland Emmerich movies all suck, but some suck well - Independence Day is absolutely glorious, a perfect thing - and some suck badly.  Day After Tomorrow, my hippy shadenfreude is looking at you, 'cos a lot of us hippies are this way down to the science that you totally ignored.

Comments

[splinister.livejournal.com]

It's probably going to be crap.

However, gotta admire that teaser. I had a Keanu Reeves "Whoa" moment while watching it. What caused the insane Tsumani was irrelevant in that instant: it was the spectacle that grabbed me.

[thudthwacker.livejournal.com]

Indeed. The movie is very nearly sure to be, as one might say, shiny Def Leppard pants, but there are bits that are going to be pretty awesome to see.

[ravenbait.livejournal.com]

Have to admit to a "Holy Fuck" moment when the sea came crashing over the mountains, rapidly followed by the oceanographer in me looking rather sceptically at the water flow, followed almost instantly by "Oh gods, PLEASE don't do a Clive Cussler and make out that the reversing magnetic pole is caused by the Earth's crust revolving on the mantle as a result of hydroplates, because that would suck major ass."

[andygates.livejournal.com]

I think it's gonna be hydroplates. If we're really lucky, it'll be hydroplates. Otherwise maybe a mega-tide (yes I know, but...)...

It's a good "holy fuck" moment though.

[ravenbait.livejournal.com]

I did the maths, you know. For hydroplate theory. Because I am that sad.

Avatar has no relevance, it just makes me happy.

[thudthwacker.livejournal.com]

Having never read anything by Cussler, I have no idea at all what you're talking about. But, if you've done the math, I will contentedly (and, indeed, cheerfully) take your word on it that he's a goof.

[ravenbait.livejournal.com]

Cussler wrote a Dirk Pitt novel in which the Biblical flood was explained as being a result of the Earth shifting its poles.

The magnetic poles of the Earth do reverse. This is recorded in the magnetism of sea-floor rocks that have been extruded from the mid-oceanic plates. Because they are extruded as molten rocks, they record the direction of the magnetic field -- it's the iron content. Geophysicists (I did some as part of my degree) would explain this as being a result of the liquid nature of the Earth's core. Every so often the field changes direction because the iron-rich interior just spins that way.

Cussler explained it as...

Excuse me, this reduces me to helpless snorting giggles.

He explained it as being the result of a meteor impact. The idea goes that there is a thin layer of superheated water between the crust and the mantle, which reduces friction. A meteor or comet strike of epic enough proportions would detach the crust from the mantle and cause the whole thing to spin so that Antarctica is found in the north and vice versa.

The hydroplate theory and the spinning crust is beloved of a select bunch of moronic Creationists, who say that it would explain the flood because it would release the water trapped between crust and mantle in a series of geysers, thus covering the surface of the Earth in water (because ther eisn't enough water currently to cause a global flood).

I did some quick calculations on required impact angle and impulse force and whether it would be possible for such an impact to...

Never mind. Suffice to say that it's just not possible to incur an impact that would do such a thing as opposed to blowing a fucking big hole in the planet.

[ravenbait.livejournal.com]

And that's not even going near the question of why it would reverse through 180 degrees every single fucking time.

[andygates.livejournal.com]

Poles know there place. It's cryptoracism.

Love the ears :)

[andygates.livejournal.com]

Their. Not there. I blame the Tyrozets.

[estaratshirai.livejournal.com]

Why? Why doesn't Roland just die?

The horrible sick thing is that all of his movies have been so very awful that at some point I will probably have to see this one just for the train wreck.

[andygates.livejournal.com]

It's like Uwe Boll got a budget!

[andygates.livejournal.com]

N+2, where N is the number of *grossing* 'end times' movies.

They'll assume the first bomb is a blip; it'll take two box-office stinkers to get his budget reined in.