Movie good, movie bad
Jun. 1st, 2008 12:37 amMovie Good: Cloverfield. I love handheld verité stuff and I love monster movies, so the Gozdilla/Blair Witch mashup worked perfectly for me. Shallow and dumb but beautfully done - very much a post-9/11 B-movie. But if hand-held stuff makes you barf and no exposition makes you cross, give it a miss. Clover's wuvly!
Movie Bad: They're remaking Death Race 2000, although to give them their credit, this Jason Statham pay-the-bills abomination is at least dropping the '2000'. This isn't just going to suck. The original sucked. This is going to discover superstring-theory numbers of additional dimensions of suck. The original, that sucked in space and time. This is going to suck in space, time, flooble, gronk, backspin and lemon. They're going to have to do experiments at the Large Hadron Collider to determine just how much this movie can theoretically suck. Higgs Suck. This much suck could create a sinkhole of unquality that devours the world.
Movie Bad: They're remaking Death Race 2000, although to give them their credit, this Jason Statham pay-the-bills abomination is at least dropping the '2000'. This isn't just going to suck. The original sucked. This is going to discover superstring-theory numbers of additional dimensions of suck. The original, that sucked in space and time. This is going to suck in space, time, flooble, gronk, backspin and lemon. They're going to have to do experiments at the Large Hadron Collider to determine just how much this movie can theoretically suck. Higgs Suck. This much suck could create a sinkhole of unquality that devours the world.