Just Like Pro-Wrestlin'

[andygates]

So the Tour de France once again blows up with a doping scandal: Vinokourov's hugely entertaining John McClane Die Hard battle has been seasoned with blood doping; he's under serious investigation and the Astana team have left the Tour under a cloud.

Blood doping is where you inject some extra blood into an athlete.  Have you ever given blood and felt a bit weak and woozy afterwards?  Blood doping is the exact opposite: you get blood and feel like Superman; all those extra red cells transporting buckets of oxygen to your hungry muscles.  And if it's your own blood, taken a couple of months before while at peak condition, then it's very hard to detect.  If you stay just below the critical red-cell count (haematocrit: there's a level beyond which no normal human can sensibly go, after all)

Vino's blood allegedly had blood from someone else in it.  That's a schoolboy error: it most likely means that his blood was mixed up with someone else's in the Secret Performance Lab.  Hey, who hasn't mixed up two bottles in a fridge?  Especially when they're not labelled "Vino" and "Fred" but "Aardwolf" and "Echidna" or "34783" and "34985" or some other super-secret no-we're-not-doping-honest code?

Actually, the idea of doping with my blood isn't too unpleasant, but a pint of someone else's is just groady.  Still, sports fans, don't be disillusioned by the seemingly systemic doping that takes place in the Tour.  There's a huge pile of cash riding on performances here, so the temptation to tweak is as strong as it gets.  Just think of it like pro-wrestling.  You still get the spectacle and the blood, the opportunity to yell at your screen and buy tie-in products - you just lose the nobility.

Comments

[andygates.livejournal.com]

I dunno. Amateur powerlifting is totally juiced even at the grass roots. Cheating is only unbalanced if not everyone is doing it ;)

[justoneway.livejournal.com]

Powerlifting is not something that will ever be a mainstream sport though is it? I mean would you want you children hanging about in sweaty gyms frequented small dicked blokes with hyperdermic needles and baby oil? The culture of doping has helped make it this way.

Cycling is a very accessible sport. Condoning doping will make it less so. I think that is bad.

[andygates.livejournal.com]

Doping's been present at the top end of cycling since at least 1924 though. The prevalent culture, on those massive stage-races, is doped.

Then again we Brits suck at stage races; we're handier at track stuff, at which we're pretty clean and we excel. Get thee to a velodrome!