There's that smell again...

[andygates]

As a bachelor in a semi-derelict flat, I'm used to the idea that my pad might whiff a bit.  It's a guy thing.  And a damp thing, a bike thing, and a surf thing.  But just lately, the smell has become a Smell, and last night it actually stopped me getting to sleep.  The reek was emanating from below my bed.  What ghastliness was down there?  I was worried the damp might be rotting my tatami, or that the sewer pipe from the bathroom had cracked.

Turns out that the dear cat has been bringing me presents.  In fact, I have a feeling that every time she wakes me up with enthusiasm, it's because she's brought me breakfast in bed.  Five mice and a sparrow!  Most of them are quite flat and crispy, but by the gods they hum!



This is how they caught Jeffery Dahmer, you know.  The smell eventually got so bad that someone investigated and found the chunks and corpses and general stinky once-living nastiness.  Cat people, any suggestions on how to stop my darling from littering my world with cadavers?  Before she starts on the kids at the school up the road?

Comments

Re: Hmm.

[andygates.livejournal.com]

How in the name of all that's holy did you persuade your cats to leave their carcasses at the door?

Tell me! I need to know!

Re: Hmm.

[n-decisive.livejournal.com]

By becoming their appreciative slave, of course. ;)

No, here's what you do:

When you find anything a cat's hunted, inside, or out, find your cat and start telling her that she's a very good kitty, and coo at her a lot. Walk towards your door as you do this. Go out the door, place the "gift" off to the side of it, and get your cat a treat. I give mine soft food and scritches. It takes a few exchanges like this, but the cat starts to realize they get gifts by the door, and they'll start delivering them there to reap the rewards.

The only problem I have ever had with this is them not quite making it to the door before dropping dead things. Still, having a decapitated birdie on my steps or front path is much better than having it in the house.

Oh, and you only need to leave the present on the porch, stoop, whatever until your kitty is done with the food you give her. Then, you can remove it to a disposal site.

Re: Hmm.

[andygates.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see! You have to spot the gift when they're fresh, and not when they're a reeking mass of magotty fur under the bed.

Maybe I should just be easier to wake?

Re: Hmm.

[n-decisive.livejournal.com]

Wake when you're ready. SOMEONE in this world deserves that luxury.

I've taken the stale ones and done it, too. The key is them seeing you with the prize, being praised, and redirected. You don't even have to feed them treats all the time once they get it.

I think your kitty's been hoarding because you didn't notice what she did for you. ;)

Re: Hmm.

[andygates.livejournal.com]

I'm such a bad kitty-daddy. :(

Bad kitty daddy?

[n-decisive.livejournal.com]

No way.

If you were a bad kitty daddy, would you be asking for suggestions on handling this? I think not.

("Kitty daddy" is making me think of a Foamy episode wherein said squirrel discusses "babyfahdders." My mind annoys me at times.)