andygates

This is mostly a criticism of Facebook, but the other "real you" social networking sites are under fire too. Orkut started getting this wrong, and it's spread.

I think it's important to have boundaries in life. My work, training, social life and weirdshit, for example, are pretty distinct things. I might want to be in a bunch of technical groups, training lists, boozehound surf bum groups and creepy gothed-out crazy people lists. And it is legitimate to want to keep those separate: my boss doesn't need to see my party photos any more I need to flash the avatars of gym freaks (c'mon guys, SWF please?) around. I might be in a church and a sports club, and not want the sports club to tag me as the god-botherer.

I might even be doing stuff that some of my friends think is stupid, or irresponsible, or dangerous, or illegal. And of course, I might have groups of friends who hate each other, or who would think a lot less of me if they saw me hanging around with people "like that" - I don't want my dudes to think I'm a suckup if I've friended the boss; I'm not going to explain my futanari group to the vicar.

I can count the number of people who'd get into all of those groups on one stump. So a "real me" social site has to be shallow and thin. It's got to be just safe contacts - the ones from the really real world - and it's got to have nothing terribly challenging. I'd argue that's why the groups I'm seeing on Facebook are either facile or dull - dull because they're already the people you know, so there's no real interest there, or facile in that they're Zombie Of The Week or Fans Of Smeaton; stuff that's got no more weight than a Dilbert strip.

What I love about the web is not seeing my mates' photos and going "Heyy, thats you! Don't you look a right tosser?" It's the other contacts - the people who extend what I think, not merely confirm it. And it's the ability to explore something leftfield with pretty good anonymity. The reality offered by places like Facebook actually kills the unreality which is at the very heart of a rich internet experience.

For me, it's as bad as being beaten up by Thrognath the Barbarian, while hearing his tween voice arguing with his mum about tidying his room. Too much reality where it's not needed really can suck.