Only me! *Thwip!*

[andygates]

A revelation has come unto me.  I've worked out why I can't stand Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man.

It's not that he's a whiney emo boi-bitch.  Spidey's a whiney teen.  That's fine.  It's not that he speaks in expository voice-over, because Spidey does that too.  It's not even that Sam Raimi gets flabbier and less entertaining the more money he has to work with, or that Spidey's beloved wise-cracking has been drowned under those big watery baby blues.

It's simply this:  Tobey Maguire looks like a young Harry Enfield.

'Nuff said.

Comments

[ravenbait.livejournal.com]

Dammit.

You're right!

Tobey Maguire IS Tory Boy!

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

Oh, Christ, so he does.

I think the series would be substantially improved by Kathy Burke playing practically anyone.

[jarkman.livejournal.com]

Everyone. She should play everyone. That would sort it out.

[andygates.livejournal.com]

She'd certainly 'reimagine' Aunt May!

[alacerus.livejournal.com]

"Aunt May, theres something I need to tell you..."
"I AM SMOKING A FAG!";-)

[andygates.livejournal.com]

It's better already!

[ravenbait.livejournal.com]

Or Mary Jane:

"I want a BRAHN baby!"

[andygates.livejournal.com]

But this is the Marvel universe - "I wanna GREEN babay!"