I aten't ded

[andygates]

You'll be wildly unsurprised to hear that the teeny explosion in the bog of an Exeter restaurant didn't scatter my carcass to the winds.

I'm pleased to report that whatever disgruntled employee or bunny-boiling personal spat ended in a centre-evacuating blamlet, yours truly will be cycling through the snarled traffic and scooching past any daft car-only cordons.  Bikes: Your best transport for the zombie apocalypse.

Comments

[andygates.livejournal.com]

Ooh, updates... the midday bomber wot bombs at midnight has been arrested; he's the only injured party. So he went into the bogs and blew himself up a little bit. Didn't want to cause a fuss. How very English.

City centre is of course evacuated as the plod do due-diligence. For some reason, Drake's Circus in Plymouth are all tense as well - because this might be a CAMPAIGN to blow up the southwest's crappy shopping centres. A little bit.

More dismissive sarcasm as it breaks.

[estaratshirai.livejournal.com]

Ooh, updates... the midday bomber wot bombs at midnight has been arrested; he's the only injured party.

Applause to the splodey gentleman for his attempt on the Darwin Award, though as he didn't actually kill himself he's not eligible to win: and more applause to the author for the gratuitous Tick reference.

[andygates.livejournal.com]

Tick references are never gratuitous!

[ravenbait.livejournal.com]

We had a burst mains this afternoon and we all got sent home.

It must be a CONSPIRACY!!!!

Noes!!!!!! Teh zombees R comin! Halp!

[andygates.livejournal.com]

You got sent home? No fair! I wanna burst main too!

I declare this an operation in the WOMP: The War On Mild Peril.

[ravenbait.livejournal.com]

You got sent home?

Mild peril.

No water to flush the toilets.

[andygates.livejournal.com]

A greater risk to health and safety, or at least non-stinky comfort, than I'm in, no doubt about that.

"the man in custody is in his 20s and has laceration injuries to his eye and facial burns"

Aw, bless. I think I've made bigger splodeys for teh lulz.

[thudthwacker.livejournal.com]

I can't help imagining him peering into the toilet, like Wile E. Coyote peering into a shotgun that should have fired. "It should have gone off by" [BLAM]

[andygates.livejournal.com]

"Where's the kaboom?"