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Cube love redux
Oct. 30th, 2007 12:40 pm
There, that didn't take long, did it? One plushie weighted companion cube courtesy of 4chan. The real thing will be available from Valve in a little while. Meawhile is there any gaming comic that hasn't done Portal gags? Weebl, VG Cats, Userfriendly, Penny Arcade...In ur portals, sexin ur cubes
Oct. 27th, 2007 04:38 amFirst of all if you don't have Portal, go get it. Buy it or Steam it or -ahem- Torrent it so you know what the hell I'm rambling about.
Then you too can be slightly scared of GLaDOS, who is, I swear, Majel Barrett on acid. And you can share my love for the Weighted Companion Cube. And I do wuv you, Cube, you stay true even when I'm not sure which way is up any more. Portal's schtick is this: it's a first-person puzzler with no weapons or monsters. Yay! Instead you've got a portal gun. It shoots two interconnected holes. In one, out the other, and your relative momentum is preserved. Cue using gravity to accelerate (because you sure aren't Lara in the athletics stakes) and many other sneaky tricks.
It's such a simple idea with such a far-reaching impact that it tweaks how you start to look at space. Ever go climbing or open-water swimming? You know how, afterwards, you look at buildings or stretches of water as different terrain instead of barriers? Like that.
Cube love is going bonkers out there. Hardly surprising when the only other contact you have in the sterile lab environment is that damn computer and her promises of cake. Valve have been startled into making Cube plushies for Christmas.
That can only mean one thing: Cube slash. Rule 34, ladies and gentlemen, no exceptions.
Almost 5am and I'm stuck with some sliding platforms (my nemesis in all games!). Wait for me, Cube. I'll be back, but I need sleep first.
Then you too can be slightly scared of GLaDOS, who is, I swear, Majel Barrett on acid. And you can share my love for the Weighted Companion Cube. And I do wuv you, Cube, you stay true even when I'm not sure which way is up any more. Portal's schtick is this: it's a first-person puzzler with no weapons or monsters. Yay! Instead you've got a portal gun. It shoots two interconnected holes. In one, out the other, and your relative momentum is preserved. Cue using gravity to accelerate (because you sure aren't Lara in the athletics stakes) and many other sneaky tricks. It's such a simple idea with such a far-reaching impact that it tweaks how you start to look at space. Ever go climbing or open-water swimming? You know how, afterwards, you look at buildings or stretches of water as different terrain instead of barriers? Like that.
Cube love is going bonkers out there. Hardly surprising when the only other contact you have in the sterile lab environment is that damn computer and her promises of cake. Valve have been startled into making Cube plushies for Christmas.
That can only mean one thing: Cube slash. Rule 34, ladies and gentlemen, no exceptions.
Almost 5am and I'm stuck with some sliding platforms (my nemesis in all games!). Wait for me, Cube. I'll be back, but I need sleep first.
Portal: Lesbian FPS?
Oct. 24th, 2007 02:49 pm
This article from Heroine Sheik shows the dangers of excessive deconstruction in reviews, I think..."in a world of women, this gun doesn’t shoot bullets. It shoots orifices. Openings. Fine, vaginas. Vaginas you, a female character, have to enter/exit to solve puzzles. I don’t say this often, and almost never with so much support and enthusiasm, but that is so gay."
Mmhm. And I thought it was just fecking around with physics fun.
(When's it out for the Wii?)
